Maybe luckily, I did it.
I am rewriting the system and expanding the capacity.
I am going to run the system again. I am ready. Maybe there will be some big debug. I have to try to run it again. I can’t stay in a safe mode for a long time.
All the essays are based on personal characteristics and social observations.
Idealism romanticism
I won’t say it applies to everyone, because the road to autonomy requires huge suffering, loneliness, and failure. I have cried a lot because I am not able to bear it. However, what I can’t bear more is the stupidity from the outside world, as I am an idealist. The only thing I can do is to save myself from such a circumstance. It’s based on my passion for idealism, motivated by the unbearable “I don’t want”. So, how to define freedom?
Is it a positive freedom, or negative freedom? Obviously, both. Without passion, there won’t be imagination. Without imagination, there won’t be belief. Without belief, there won’t be a rebellion. Without rebellion, there won’t be action
I have three biggest weaknesses.
1. I am willing to take over the responsibility to realize what I believe. No matter at work or in love.
2. Freedom above everything. without an awareness of building a social network.
3. I only want to do what I’d like to do. Generally, all my decision is based on likeness, from consumption, to work, to love.
I think it might be a bit hard to abandon such a basement. Or in other words, there is no essential to do. I tried. But I find it’s not attractive, it doesn’t make me feel excited, but only drags me into a deeper self-doubt.
Failure introduced a risk alarm. To prevent myself from shutting down again, I find the rationality, which means accept the emotions, allowing myself to be vulnerable, be honest to your feelings, take logic to support the risk.